✖️ HOW TO COPE WITH NEGATIVITY ONLINE

(Photo is of my friend Sam, full credits to him)

Social media and the internet in general can be a wonderful, yet terrible thing. Off and on throughout 2017 and 2016 I was unlucky enough to experience some of the more terrible and negative bits.... Don't you worry, this isn't a lengthy post about why and how, as I like to keep things positive and upbeat. This is how I handled it.

I've had this post idea floating around on my laptop for a while now. Whats stopped me was the fact that I could receive more hate than I already am, it could come off as a witch hunt, and how it could affect my partner and I. But then I thought of the benefits it could have. What also drove me to finally post it was a question I received on CuriousCat.

Sadly, throughout 2017 and 2016, it hasn’t been the kindest towards my partner and I. I constantly had people and one 'clique' make numerous crappy indirect tweets about me, and then once I confronted them privately to resolve the issue, it only led to me being called a “psycho” and other abusive words. After many attempts to calm them down, and explain my side as they don’t know the full story, it just became pointless and was going nowhere. It’s shocking that people are still using such insensitive words to paint someone's mental health, but that’s a whole different topic.

WHAT DID I DO?

I, and like most bloggers I connect with, use social media as a platform for sharing content and promoting. I also use it to keep in touch with distant family and friends, as well as reading up on world news, latest trends, and watching YouTube videos. Basically to share all of my lame life updates and also write out my feelings. But, like any hurtful comment, it flooded my thoughts with anxiety and doubt about everything I've been doing. So... instead of letting it get to me, I've taken the opportunity to create a list of helpful tips!

GET A NEW PERSPECTIVE

My dad has always said that when you’re in a situation filled with toxicity and frustration, it’s almost like trying to look at a painting with your nose pressed up against it. You aren’t seeing the full picture. Once you’ve stepped back, thought about things, and returned, you’ll begin to see the full picture for what it is. I’ve constructed a little list of things that I did to remove myself from the situation, distance myself from hurtful people, and take a breather.

WALK AWAY/BLOCK

You can only repeat yourself so many times to them before it becomes mentally draining and harmful to yourself. Don’t strain yourself trying to get someone else to see through your eyes, their basis of understanding is only determined by how open-minded they are. It’s best to just leave them on read, and walk away. If they continue to message and/or make indirect tweets, block them. You don’t need that in your life.

DISTRACTION

Being called nasty things does eventually take its toll, trust me. I have days where all I want to do is take a 3 hour long shower and curl up in a ball. However, you don’t want to let those feelings linger for too long or it becomes unhealthy. What they’ve said to/about you is not a reflection of who you are. Do things that make you happy. Personally, meditating and stretching helps me clear my mind. Get some fresh air, color in a picture, cook/bake, start a Netflix series, read, etc. Nowadays, we are so glued to our phones; put it down for however long you need, and refresh yourself.

FOCUS ON YOU

How you react to a situation will always have its consequences. Life is all about choices, and you don’t want to fight fire with fire, as that won’t work in your favour. Log out, step back, and do 1 thing for yourself. Something I do for myself is blast some music and clean my room, a nice organized room always leaves me feeling a sense of accomplishment. It’s always the little things. You are the main focus, you don’t owe anyone an explanation for not being active, do what you need to do.

I often sit back and hold my tongue, but after receiving a question on CuriousCat that has inspired this post (which I had to delete, sorry) regarding how I cope, I was motivated to go more in depth with how I overcome the things thrown at Ry and I.

If you are going through any sort of negativity or abuse online, know that you are not alone. Please remove yourself from the situation and talk to someone if you need to. Logging out for a few hours or days can be so beneficial, and help you to feel stronger when you choose to log back on. Lastly, nobody likes negativity, do what they can’t do and spread some light and kindness.

Here are some helplines if you need someone to talk to:

Kids Help Phone: https://kidshelpphone.ca

Yourmentalhealth: http://www.yourmentalhealth.ie
*A list of international helplines* http://togetherweare-strong.tumblr.com/helpline